[bennythedip2]

NHS London
Southside
105 Victoria Street
London SW1E 6QT

Tel: 020 7932 3700
January 19, 2012


IMPORTANT NOTICE TO ALL GENERAL PRACTITIONERS


Stage 3 Notice: possible pandemic in the Christmas period



Recent studies conducted on "delirium tremens" indicate that in certain cases this can be transmitted amongst humans. We are seeing probable contamination in most areas of Hertfordshire, Suffolk and parts of Cambridgeshire and Essex. Cases have also been reported in Hammersmith & Fulham (13), Westminster (12), Hampstead (24), Merton (19), Acton (12) and more recently in Kensington & Chelsea (39).

It was observed that the subjects examined were regular consumers of wine or beer. Most (97.6%) of the subjects will encounter serious problems with their vision when having gone without wine for 1 to 2 days on average.

Extended periods without wine would seriously affect the individuals reading capabilities. The subjects would also feel a trembling sensation. In extreme cases, individuals would start to hallucinate and see coloured specks when staring at an object for extended periods.

If any of your patients present with these symptoms, please contact the Crisis Centre in London immediately.

Our research to date has identified only one certain cure: regular consumption of wine at least every 8 hours.

Please bring this document to the attention everyone you believe to be at risk.


:))