HOW TO SPEAK "WOMANEESE"!!
DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN'S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish --- 49
Adventurous --- Slept with everyone
Athletic --- no t its
Average Looking --- Ugly
Beautiful --- Pathological liar
Contagious smile --- Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure --- On Medication
Feminist --- Fat
Free Spirit --- Junkie
Fun Person --- Annoying
New Age --- Body Hair in the Wrong places
Open - minded --- Desperate
Outgoing --- Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate --- Sloppy Drunk
Professional --- B itch
Large Framed --- Very Fat
Voluptuous --- Hugely Fat
Looking for Soul mate --- Stalker
WOMEN'S ENGLISH
1. Yes --- No
2. No --- Yes
3. Maybe --- No
4. We need --- I want
5. I am sorry --- You'll be sorry
6. We need to talk --- You're in trouble
7. Sure OK go ahead --- You better not
8. Do what you want --- You'll pay for it later
9. I am not upset --- You better believe I'm upset
10. You're very attentive --- Is s ex all you ever think about
MEN'S ENGLISH
1. I am Hungry --- I am Hungry
2. I am Sleepy --- I am Sleepy
3. I am Tired --- I am Tired
4. Nice Dress --- Nice Cleavage !
5. I Love you --- Let's have s ex now
6. I am Bored --- Do you want to have s ex now.
7. May I have this dance --- I'd like to have s ex with you
8. Can I have you number --- I'd like to have s ex with you
9. Want to go to a movie --- I'd like to have s ex with you
10. Can I take you to dinner --- I'd like to have s ex with you
11. Can I walk you home --- I'd like to have s ex with you
AND FINALLY
Scientific study found that women find different male faces attractive depending
on where they are in their menstrual cycle.
For Example
When women are ovulating she will prefer rugged masculine type
However when she is menstruating she will prefer a man doused in petrol
set on fire with scissors stuck in one eye and cricket stump shoved up your harris
