It just gets better......Slough,
f~~~~~g armed police everywhere, Taliban fighters around every corner of Heathrow Airport, kids asking you if they can mind your car for 50quid
Oooh and that just reminded me, the last time i was there with an old drinking buddy and the only real friend i had left, 'The Copthorne Hotel' demanded that he send cash over in a cab to Filthy McNasty’s, a notorious drinking-den off the Pentonville Road, apparently, he had been waiting there with Sid Snot for three days, run up a massive drinks tab in the interim and the management were now insisting that he clear the bill!
.... Ernesto, the mini-cab driver who delivered the cash, returned to the hotel ashen-faced, and informed us that the scene over at Filthy’s was “mayhem”.
.... Apparently 'Alfonso Stewart' had insisted that Ernesto, his “saviour”, join him for a small refreshment, but had then collapsed on the Chesterfield in tears on receipt of the bulging envelope. He was consoled by Victoria, the gorgeous consort of MacGinty,(Alfonso's Hit man and best friend) who had finally turned up. “There, there,” she purred as he bubbled and blubbed into her generous cleavage. MacGinty, swaying at the bar like a druidical rocking-stone and hollering “shop!” spied them out of the corner of his eye and quickly took offence at Alfonso's over familiarity with his stunning muse. He lurched over and attempted a swift strangulation job on him, twisting his binocular strap even tighter as Alfonso went purpler than he already was. Victoria, nonplussed, aimed a lethal Prada haymaker at her irate lover, in a desperate attempt to defuse a situation that she had witnessed too many times before. Her ridiculously expensive hand-bag, weighted with a bottle of dry martini, scythed a bruise making arc through the nicotine clouds, headed for MacGinty shades.
Luckily, the old friends tumbled over the back of the Chesterfield just then and the satchel missed its mark, only to find crunching purchase on the sweating forehead of Rabbi the potman, who came waltzing through from the other bar !!..timeing huh !!
So, do i want to go back to 'The Copthorne Hotel'
Ahhh f~~k it, i'll invite MacGinty , Alfonso and Victoria around..
The characters names have been changed
to protect the guilty !!!!
benny