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#411
February 11th, 2015, 17:30
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#412
February 11th, 2015, 17:40
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#413
February 14th, 2015, 11:56
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Research shows that more money is being spent on boob jobs and Viagra than helping to cure Alzheimer's.
 Which means that by 2040 the elderly will have perky boobs and stiff willies but no idea why! 
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here. 
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#414
February 15th, 2015, 20:35
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I was thinking ffs at all this 50 Shades of Grey shite, but after a bit of persuasion, I'm off to see it tomorrow.
 Should be a laugh if nothing else, but I can't deny I'm a bit worried about launching a raging hard-on at the cinema.  Still, spending some quality time with Gran is the main thing. ..  ..
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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#415
February 16th, 2015, 22:49
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Ron Chestna 89 years of age was stopped by the police around 2 a.m. and was asked where he was going at that time of night .
Ron replied, "I'm on my way to a lecture about alcohol abuse and the effects it has on the human body, as well as smoking and staying out late."  The officer asked, "Really? Who's giving that lecture at this time of night?" Ron replied, "That would be my wife." 
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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#416
February 24th, 2015, 15:15
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A man walks into a shop to buy a Barbie doll for his daughter.,
"How much is that Barbie in the window?" he asks the shop assistant. She said, "Which Barbie? We have Barbie Goes to the Gym for £19.95, Barbie Goes to the Ball for £19.95, Barbie Goes Shopping for £19.95, Barbie Goes to the Beach for £19.95, Barbie Goes Nightclubbing for £19.95 and Divorced Barbie for £100. " The guy asks, "Why is Divorced Barbie different from all the others?. The assistant replied......... ........."Divorced Barbie comes with Ken's house, Ken's car, Ken's boat, Ken's furniture... " 
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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#417
March 5th, 2015, 22:15
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The old ones are the best
'Baby Talk' ...
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was that the teacher Insisted on NO baby talk! 'You need to use 'Big People' words,' she was always reminding them. She asked John what he had done over the weekend? 'I went to visit my Nana'.... No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use 'Big People' words!' She then asked Jenny what she had done 'I took a ride on a choo-choo'. She said. 'No,No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use 'Big People' words'. She then asked little Alex what he had done? 'I read a book' he replied.  That's WONDERFUL!' the teacher said. 'What book did you read?' ( I love this.....) Alex thought real hard about it, Then puffed out his chest with great pride, and said, 'Winnie the SHIT'
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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#418
March 9th, 2015, 13:00
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While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip.
When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left h er glasses on the table, and she didn't miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around in order to return to the restaurant to retrieve her glasses. All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn't let up for a single minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car, and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, While you're in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card. This coming week is National Senior Mental Health Week. You can do YOUR part by remembering to contact at least one unstable Senior to show you care ..... I have now done MY part.
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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#419
March 27th, 2015, 13:39
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The Ultimate Sneeze
A man and a woman were sitting beside each other in the first class section of an airplane.. The woman sneezed, took out a tissue, gently wiped her nose, then visibly shuddered for ten to fifteen seconds.  The man went back to his reading. A few minutes later, the woman sneezed again, took a tissue, wiped her nose, then shuddered violently once more. Assuming that the woman might have a cold, the man was still curious about the shuddering. A few more minutes passed when the woman sneezed yet again.. As before, she took a tissue, wiped her nose, her body shaking even more than before. Unable to restrain his curiosity, the man turned to the woman and said, "I couldn't help but notice that you've sneezed three times, wiped your nose and then shuddered violently. Are you OK?" "I am sorry if I disturbed you, I have a very rare medical condition; whenever I sneeze I have an orgasm." The man, more than a bit embarrassed, was still curious. "I have never heard of that condition before" he said. "Are you taking anything for it?"  The woman nodded, and replied, " Yes,.... Pepper." 
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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#420
April 8th, 2015, 20:56
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The Husband Store
The Husband Store
 A store that sells new husbands has opened in Melbourne , where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates: You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building! So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads: Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads: Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids. 'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.' so she continues upward. The third floor sign reads: Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking. 'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going. She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads: Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework. 'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!' Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads: Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak. She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor where the sign reads. Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store PLEASE NOTE: To avoid gender bias charges, the store's owner opened a New Wives store just across the street. The first floor has wives that love sex. The second floor has wives that love sex and have money and like beer The third, fourth, fifth and sixth floors have never been visited. 
__________________
Sell crazy someplace else, we're all stocked up here.
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