[bennythedip2]

If, like me, you’re really stupid, you will see the world through metaphors derived solely from dumb TV shows of the Sixties and Seventies.
Because, you see, life is like Runaround - the ITV kids game show hosted by a pre-Eastenders Mike Read.
After the loveable cockney asked a question, the hordes of kids would have to “runaround” three sections of the game-board.
Two would be right and one would be wrong, and you got a yellow ball if you stood in the right area. Much jostling would ensue as the kids chose safety in numbers, assuming that the more people who stood in an area the better the chance of them collectively having the right answer. And normally this worked.
But there was always one kid who would dart between the three sections, following and then abandoning the flow, making complex but futile judgements about his probability of success as the blinding lights flashed and the sirens hooted. At the moment of revelation, this one kid would invariably be occupying a section all on his own.
As the answer was revealed he would desperately try to jump next door but would soon be spotted by the cybernetically enhanced eyes of Mr Read. Mike Read would whisk you away with a clip on the ear (this was 1975) and declare to the laughing masses “What a wally!”
Some of us have been standing in that wrong segment for most of our adult lives, sometimes trying to jump into adjacent squares but then changing our minds and sticking to our so-called principles. While all the time a voice of gruff fatherly authority shouts beerily down our lugholes with a Readian equal emphasis on each syllable - “What A Wa Lee!”
You could try and jump next door with all the other kids, but if you’re stupid like me you’ll stay in your lonely segment, hoping that, despite the overwhelming evidence, you’ve made the right decision.
You just had to be different, didn’t you?
Welcome home my friends, to the tale that never ends -
welcome to My Stupid Life.